Don't fly away

You're right there under my fingertips. I feel your energy but I can't touch you yet. She tells me I have a choice between good and bad, and you're the good. It's like a gift of comfort. A blanket for forever. But I cant open you yet. I know we're both frustrated right now and it's making us crazy, sick with emotion. sick. like nausea of hateful things. We don't mean them. I feel like I'm regressing however. My age is getting to me like the rain on a windy day. Or, a word that just won't say. I feel like a baby bird. Everyone babies me and it's making me sick. I just want to have responsibility so I feel my maturity. I know that's coming, but my patience is only as good as my temper. I just want you to know that I still feel the same as I once did. I just don't want to regress into the same egg and I'm trying to find a balance between my mind and my heart. I have the choice now. But, I don't make decisions. I let people decide for me. But if it was up to them, neither road would be right. No, this decision is my own. I've been begging the good energy to give me you and let the other not to incarnate. But I must decide. All I'm asking is, don't fly away. Be patient for me. I have to sort out the contradictions in my soul. I don't want to lose you, I won't lose you. I want the good life. I don't want bad for myself anymore. So, allow the pathway to be clear. Don't leave room for me to be scared and back away. I've been in bad places. I see shadows in every room, closet, hallway. Lead me and hold my eyes so I won't see the ghost. Don't fly away bird. Build me a home and a future in the sky, but please don't fly away.